Stop Tearing Each Other Apart



When I see the “Jake from State Farm” commercial it makes me curious, not about my auto insurance rates however. It makes think if the suspicious wife in that commercial was changed into a suspicious husband, would everyone still think the commercial was amusing?

What about the Fiber One commercial where the crafty wife tricks the unsuspecting husband into eating healthy? Would it be clever if the husband tricked his inept wife into eating fiber?

Consider the Yoplait commercial. Stupid hungry husband thinks wife has lots of yummy desserts in the refrigerator because she mentions them while talking on the phone to a friend. But she’s really talking about all the wonderful yogurt flavors, and how much weight she’s lost. If it was the wife being portrayed as stupid I am sure there would be outrage.

I am definitely all for the rights of women and empowerment of my gender. I do, however, have a problem with female empowerment at the expense of others. It seems the pendulum has swung to far to the left and now the victims are becoming the offenders. I see this issue in many situations, for example, body positivity. I am 100% in favor of loving the body you were given in all its unique and glorious beauty, curves, rolls, stretch marks, ect. I am not in favor of body positivity at the expense of thin women or women who are athletic, or women who enjoy working out. That is not being body positive, that is ostracizing one group in place of another. There is nothing positive about that.

The summers latest “feel good” song is “All About That Bass” written and performed by Meghan Trainor. I really like the song, it is catchy, it has a nice beat to it and the lyrics are easy to remember. I am sure that Meghan has her heart in the right place with this song, however, some of the lyrics seem counter-intuitive. For example here are the lyrics to the second verse of the song:

I’m bringing booty back
Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches Hey!
No, I’m just playing I know you think you’re fat,
But I’m here to tell you that,
Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top!
Yeah, my momma she told me don’t worry about your size
She says, boys they like a little more booty to hold at night
You know I won’t be no stick thin you silly Barbie doll,
So, if that’s what’s you’re into
Then go ahead and move along!

I understand the message of the song but the lyrics are basically saying, if you are skinny you are a bitch and you must be a vapid woman that can offer society no more than eye candy. Meghan, that is far from positive. The patriarchy of our society does not allow any woman to be able to express how beautiful they are. Fat women are not allow to think of themselves as beautiful or worthy, thin women are not allowed to think of themselves as intelligent and powerful. With all the negative messages we get from the patriarchy why would we put each other down?

We, as a society need to stop tearing each other apart. We will never become empowered if we constantly shuffle the groups we shun to find which one will be the next target. If we took all the energy it takes us to snub groups of people and used it to come up with solutions to the ever growing number of problems this world faces, we would be amazed at the results.

Remember, Be Bold, Be Brave and Always Be GUTsy!






Body Acceptance Saved My Life


I have been bombarded with article after article about how the “Body Acceptance” movement is an excuse to be fat, unmotivated, lazy and gluttonous. Perhaps for some it is, though I sincerely doubt it. I can only speak for myself when I say that accepting who and what I am has been a long journey.

Being a fat woman is not something that I could ever just deal with. I went through years and years hating myself, abusing my body and feeling worthless. I remember so vividly being a young girl and wanting so badly to fit into the clothes that every other girl had. I was 10 years old and all I wanted was a pair of parachute pants. Everyone had them and I wanted them. My mother took me to Sears, to the “husky” department. There were plenty of corduroys and stiff, dark denim pants but no parachute pants. It was at this time that I realized that I was different from my peers.

Middle school was a terrible time. It was the time when all the girls in my class were developing and noticing boys. While I noticed boys and found many of them to be cute, I never dared to speak to any of them. I was fat and I didn’t have the right clothes or look.

High school was another bad time in my life. Probably the worst time in my life. Girls were so mean and cruel, if you didn’t fit the mold of what was trendy and beautiful than you were not wanted. Dances, Homecomings and Prom were never something I looked forward to. No one would want to ask me and even if someone did, where would I find a dress to fit me? My solution was to get a job and work every time there was a dance at school. It helped keep my mind off of all the fun I was missing.

Life goes on and we mature and we become the people we were meant to be. I grew into a fat woman, but not just any fat woman. I am strong and determined. I am accepting of who I am and I allow myself to love who I am. I smile now, I am truly happy. I only allow positive and accepting people in my life. Sure, there are many things I would like to change about myself. I work on those things everyday. Not one of those things is my weight however. All of the name calling, rejections and hurt I have went through have made me a better, more accepting and understanding person. I truly know how it hurts to be treated badly

I was fortunate enough to discover a blog called More To Love. It is ran by a wonderful woman, Rachel Estapa. Rachel is a powerhouse of positivity and she is very much an inspiration. Rachel offers a class, More To Love class. Through this class I met so many wonderful, inspirational and brave women. Even though class has ended I still am in contact with my MTL Family. There are times when you just need to talk to someone who really understands you and will be judgment free.

So no, The Body Acceptance movement is not an excuse for anything. The Body Acceptance movement is a lifestyle and better way of thinking, a more loving and meaningful approach to your life as a fat person. I am the best person I have ever been since I have taken the steps to love myself and my body. The Body Acceptance movement has truly saved my life.

I encourage anyone reading this post to visit Rachel’s site: